Today while I was raking leaves, my neighbor asked me if I was going to take my kids to the Pink Pig. This is a roller coaster that they set up at the mall around November/December, and it is usually a sort of centerpiece for families for a Christmas-themed outing. I didn’t really have an answer ready to go, but my wife is really quick and simply said [indicating towards the kids and me], “they’re Jewish.”
“Oh right,” I thought. I never went out of my way to do anything for Christmas growing up.

I said that I hadn’t really thought about it and that growing up, I felt overwhelmed by Christmas, especially when it felt like it was the only holiday being celebrated. I probably should not have used such harsh rhetoric because the conversation went downhill from there with her mentioning that she has friends who are Jewish. Which is irrelevant! But I understand it as a sort of defense in case I was indicating any kind of bigotry (I wasn’t). Despite how I set that all in motion without thinking, I tried to save/stop the conversation by gently saying, “and that’s all to say why I never bothered with the Pink Pig.”

But that’s frustrating – I have had this conversation countless times without trying to take the time to articulate it fully. We have had the so called “War on Christmas”. For me, it wasn’t about a war on Christmas – it was more about feeling like I was caught in the crossfire of Christmas culture. It reminded me of how Christmas has always been this looming presence, even if it wasn’t something I actively participated in growing up.

Growing up

Every year in school, there would be Christmas this or Christmas that. Chorus, orchestra, and band would all trumpet Christmas to us. Decorations were displayed all over the school. The school or classroom might set up events like a Christmas candy exchange. There would be small actions that piled up too like the surprise I received when someone asked me about my Christmas tree and I would say that I don’t have one. Or, “what are you doing for Christmas? Nothing?? 😲” Or another was during Pesach (or Passover, when we refrain from eating levened bread) and people would be surprised that I wasn’t eating bread.

But wait! They would always try to balance it out with something Hannukah themed. They’d have a Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel song in the middle of chorus. Menorah decorations placed in all the correct places in the school hallway. Gelt was shuffled in with the candy. That’s fair, right?

Not really. Growing up Jewish was emotionally difficult not because of any bigotry but because it felt like I had to swim against the current all the time. Don’t get me wrong – I LIKE who I am and how I grew up. However, three or five hours each Saturday praying was difficult for a kid like me when all I wanted to do was watch cartoons or whatever else kids do. Hebrew school for a few hours on Sundays was difficult but I am glad I learned so much. Then there are so many other things which yes I mostly enjoyed but I was exhausted.

I also didn’t want to be the token Jewish guy that everyone wanted to appease. I didn’t want them to look at me between Christmas songs so that they could verify whether I was satisfied with how they checked the box. I also didn’t want to be in a position where I had to put on my Jewish identity in a secular place. I know that this sounds sort of rude but no I didn’t want to do Jewish things at School. And then I certainly didn’t want to have to be blasted with Christmas either. It’s not like I could leave the school mandated holiday party, either and so like the immature kid I was, I held my hands over my ears sometimes. Other times I just took it. And be honest, would you want to be blasted with a random religion every single year?

Now that I’m an adult

I’ve grown out of this, however. I think that the Christmas lights are pretty and that it’s fun to listen to some music. I like seeing Christmas through everyone else’s eyes like when they see Christmas lights or Christmas music. On the other hand, I don’t think that I am ready to go out of my way to decorate my house to the teeth with Christmas, but I am happy to see when my family wants to put up some decorations. So while I might not be riding the Pink Pig anytime soon, I’m learning to navigate the season with a bit more grace, letting my kids find their own path while remembering the one I walked.
👩‍👧‍👦👨‍👦

🍷 L’chaim!

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